You write, reflect, and write more journal entries.
In between, you check the comments for new entries and the email for a contact message, to no avail.
In discouragement, you wonder;
Is this stuff helping anyone?
Am I wasting my time writing?
You think of something else, maybe it will work to gain attention.
Opening the word processor, you begin to type your thoughts. You dig deep for meaning and truth, and bring heartfelt emotions onto the page.
This entry will stand out. This one will finally reach people. You hit publish and wait for a response, weeks go by, and nothing.
You get back up and try again.
Silence again
Maybe it’s me. I do have a hard time forming friendships, and being in the spotlight is not my idea of a good time. I push myself to do better, to join Social Media websites.
Why?
I don’t like them.
I’m not a social butterfly.
I keep writing; something will hit one day. The floodgates of comments and email communication will open.
I know it!
I finished the Memoir. In excitement, I sent an email to my writing mentor.
Nothing.
Try again, sent three copies to others.
Check and recheck the inbox for a response.
Silence!
Then it hit me. You are searching for validation that your story, your suffering, is important. What you went through has left a deep emotional scar that assurance cannot heal.
The thread linking each journal entry is emotional wounds, trying so hard to soothe the heartfelt grief. The lack of parental guidance and support leaves you feeling flawed and unworthy.
Even so, I will keep writing, trusting that my grief matters to the Lord.
Is a reflective life writer and author of the upcoming memoir The Secret Darkness: Overcoming Abuse and Finding Freedom. Her writing explores healing, faith, creativity, and the journey of restoring scattered remnants into something beautiful again.
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